You were looking at me… I remember.
Every few months I start to feel really down that I’ve never had a boyfriend. I try not to think about it but I always have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m missing out. My mom keeps encouraging me to date but what she doesn’t realize is that guys just aren’t attracted to me and that sucks. I ALWAYS notice when a guy notices a pretty girl near me and it freaking sucks. Being that unnoticed girl has made my confidence pretty much zero which makes me not even talk to guys so they can get to know my personality. I don’t even want to fall in love right now but feeling wanted would be nice. Feeling like someone wants to hang out with me and hold my hand would be nice. I hate feeling like I’m going to be alone forever. I’ve tried okcupid and even though tons of guys message me i don’t believe they will ever like what they see in person. I wish dating just happened in high school Iike it does for most people so I wouldn’t feel like this…left out, afraid of being judged for my inexperience, and just plain terrified of being judged for my looks. I don’t want a million guys to like me, just one. Sorry this is a really sad rambly post, but it felt good to write this out.
April 5 - Budweiser Gardens
Is it weird if I save this to my phone and text it to people when they say something I disagree with?
That way they will see exactly how I would look disagreeing with them.
I don’t think this is what GIFs were made for.
If you manifest your true self through nature and your normal surroundings, I find that the most eerie. Like when you see birds suddenly start flying in a different direction or when you see moths forming weird shapes, I think that’s the weirdest way to let yourself be known.
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R5 | Fresno, CA 10/11/14
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